I was talking about it in my Studio Psy Paris podcast…I’m having more and more trouble with the idea of ”body positive”. Not the movement, no but with this advent, this bringing to the foreground of the “positive” as if everything else was ignored. For me, putting too much emphasis on the positive is yet another injunction, this time the injunction to be okay…So, how to accept your body ?
The “body positive” trend
Personally, I use the #bodypositive less and less in my posts and replace it #beautybeyondsize launched by Ashley Graham, a plus size model that I adore. Why are you going to ask me.
Because I think that beauty does not depend on size : a woman, a man, can be magnificent regardless of their weight, their morphology, etc. It is important to deconstruct the diktats around what beauty should be.
Now, with the body positive movement, like all these currents with the word “positive” from in (positive thinking, positive psychology, etc.), what bothers me is precisely the word “positive”. For me, this is a new injunction (and yes, again !) To feel good. So, feeling good, yes, this is a path that most of us want to strive for…Except that by highlighting this idea of the positive, it eliminates all other emotions and feelings.
For example, on a daily basis, I love my body but sometimes, it happens that I get up and I feel not at the top for x or y reason…With this type of movement, it is like we had no right to feel something other than the positive.
I almost have a voice with the character “le blond” from Gad Elmaleh in my head who says to me “ah ok, you are not body positive ?”.
And then, a person who calls themselves body positive, who one day decides to transform their appearance (weight loss, surgery, etc.) : we can say of them that they were not body positive. Moreover, public figures may have been lynched for this.
How to accept your body ?
For me, accepting your body lies in being very clear about what it is at a given moment. Learning to love your body goes through introspection and observation. It does not reside in “I deny being like this or like that”.
For me, accepting my body already goes through :
- knowing your size and accept it even when it fluctuates. For example, I changed my cup size…I had to accept having changed the size and that means agreeing to buy the new size.
- take care of your health : there is no question of weight. For me, taking care of your health is about giving my body what it takes to keep it functioning at its best. This will go through food balance, for example.
- move : a large part of my progress has been made thanks to dance (Cuban salsa) which allowed me to overcome the limits and blockages that I put on my body. Now, I couldn’t do without physical activity (even if it’s just a short stroll). I need to feel my body moving. Seeing that it is able to transport me from point A to point B, I feel a lot of gratitude.
- looking at yourself : for me, photography has taken a lot of time. It allowed me to have a different look on my body, on my appearance. It also opened up new possibilities for me in that I was able to explore aspects of myself that I didn’t dare to embody.
- Being honest with yourself : Accepting your body does not mean doing nothing if you are in discomfort or pain. It could mean losing weight, but that’s not all. In fact, it’s not to be in denial – no matter the denial : denial of pain, denial of my limits, denial of my desires, etc. If one day I don’t feel good about myself, it’s okay. If one day I feel the need to work on one point or more in particular, it’s okay. If the person I am today is not the most fair to me, who can say that I have no right to change because “you put the body positive card first.”
In conclusion, maybe we should talk more about movement “I am true”, true with me, true in t time and if in time z this truth has evolved, and although I am evolving with it.
It’s all about balance, in my opinion. I often give this image because for me it is the most telling, this image of you, me, us making a starfish on the surface of the water. There is often this idea that balance is something immutable. I do not agree. For me, balance is a quiet force in this idea I let go and I agree to float. And I could only float calmly if I trust my body, its relaxation, in the face of the force of the water that can carry me. The more I get agitated, the less I will be able to find that point of balance. On the other hand, when I found the point of equilibrium, it maintained by continuous tiny movements, in the sandstone lapping, even waves, to keep me on the surface of the water …
I’m wearing the Charley bralette from Elomi.
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