The title of this article may seem a little pompous : how to be a free woman ? I have no recipes to share, nor instructions for use, but rather ideas and thoughts. Indeed, we are “educated” in the idea that we are free…but are we really ?
Woman and freedom
I have the impression that in writing these two words “woman” and “freedom” that we are faced with an antithesis. As Simone de Beauvoir says very well :
“Never forget that it will only take a political, economic or religious crisis for the rights of women to be called into question. These rights are never granted. You will have to remain vigilant throughout your life.”
The woman, the “second sex”, the woman, “the weaker sex” as if from this place, we are not going to bother ourselves with freedom or rights. The list of injunctions made to women is as long as an arm, even both arms. Constantly contradictory injunctions of “do this”, “do that”. Finally, when we choose to do such and such things, are we really at the origin of that choice ? Do we choose in an informed way ?
When I decide to “take care of myself”, do I make the choice for myself or to fit into the social box of “what is accepted instead of the word/gender woman ?”
The freedom to have the right, to have the rights…Another huge fight. Of course, our condition as a woman has improved, of course society is changing, but you, like me, are able to feel that this freedom is fragile. We are well aware of this with the restrictions linked to the current crisis which are not only due to health reasons (and I say that by measuring my words, by having worked in post-covid and by continuing to work in the field of health in general).
The freedom for me lies in the choice. To be free is therefore to have a choice. Having the choice is also going to take it. It doesn’t come by himself. If we don’t get involved personally, body and soul, I want to say, the choice is not. So, to be in the situation : there is a choice, let us continually go in search of it, its search so that we can grasp it with both hands, with full hands.
How to be a free woman ?
So, how do you embody your freedom when you are a woman ? This involves taking the right to freely dispose of oneself, through one’s body, through one’s thoughts, through one’s values, through one’s movements, through one’s place, … It is not to apologize for being.
It is living in all its plurality : social, professional, personal, sexual. Take the time to answer all the questions that arise and choose the freedom to disobey a well-established pseudo-order. What is good to disobey…To be free is to take the leap of being yourself.
It is daring to feed oneself, to document oneself, to get out of one’s comfort zone, to question one’s beliefs, to confront them to find out if we have made the rounds. It is also to be clear on why I do certain things. It is accepting that freedom is a path, a search and not a stable, immutable state. It is making the choice, every day, to be free. It is making the choice, every day, to have the choice.
Personally, this will pass, among other things, in my choice of :
- dress as I want – and not tell myself “I’m changing my outfit because I risk being harassed in the street”,
- work as I want – accept or refuse projects, clients or even patients,
- maintain the personal, emotional and intimate relationships that I want. I have the right to choose who is part of my relational landscape, who enters it, who leaves it,
- to have an identity of my own : without compromise.
- to welcome and understand me, exit judgment.
- to educate/wake me up : to go and feed myself through people I find inspiring, read, search, dig.
And you, how do you decide to be a free woman ?
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