How to happily live our thirties, a question that many women and men ask themselves. Society imposes a schedule of life to respect, an image to which we must stick to be “happy” … But happy who?
How to happily live our thirties : where is happiness?
We would like sometimes, or even often, to have a user manual, follow some guidelines on “being happy”. In our western societies, the thirties mark a turning point in our lives. It represents a pivotal age (wink at the show The Young Man Show of Kev Adams who thanked the old people in the room…the 35 year old!). The magazines talk about it regularly…In particular, this challenge with time passing, how to be fulfilled with age, sexuality, job, etc.
Before I was 30 years old, I was often anxious about social pressure to be in a stable job and probably some bank loans. As for his personal life, the “winning” trio of the couple/house/child should also be checked in the to do list.
Nowadays, there are several schools on happiness and how to approach it but I have the feeling that there are still two great currents that stand out :
To be happy according to what the society considers to be like the happiness and its quantifiable external signs or to be happy according to what our heart, our soul whisper to us.
It is difficult to get away from the social model in which we are caught. Depending on our experiences, the anchors can sometimes be very deep…In the end, life makes us work ! If our mind takes a step back from certain diktats, we can apprehend happiness as a path and not a destination. And understand that happiness is a very subjective vision : everyone according to their experiences, references, etc. will have a way of defining happiness. There is as much happiness as being on this Earth. This is what is beautiful : happiness is a search. I use the word search and no quest because the quest sounds like a pious and almost imperative search. Happiness should not be a race but rather a river on which we sail – sometimes with its currents, turns, etc.
How to happily live our thirties : my experience
When my 30th arrived, I was much more at peace with myself. Life makes us work and it’s been several years since I began work on me and I see every day the benefits and comfort of life that I earned. I’m not telling you that there is a world of Care Bears but every day we have the energy, and in a way, the power to make a choice : the choice of the positive or the negative. One does not evince the other, both are necessary for us to grasp the equilibrium of the Universe and the world. However, I think that when the moments are difficult, we can find a light that helps us to go through the “storm”. There is a saying that the youtuber Ingrid Nilsen made me discover and I always have in mind “not every day is good but there is something good in every day“. I totally agree with this thought : indeed, it happens that we spend a bad day but we can find the strength to think of a thing for which we are happy, to be there and that the life deserves to be living. Maybe you will think of a loved one, an achievement that makes you proud, your good health, etc. The cursor follows our thinking so let’s try to help move us forward.
For some time now, I have understood that it was necessary to go beyond the injunction of our Judeo-Christian societies where taking care of oneself before others is selfish. We are the first important person in our lives when we are autonomous : how to share happiness with others if we can not share happiness with ourselves. A big job that I had to do personally to live better and especially to enjoy your thirties is to say goodbye to the sacrificial dimension in which we can be taken. I’m not saying that it does not come knocking sometimes at the door but I have the right to say no when I do not agree (because finally say no to the other is to say yes to yourself !), I have the right not to want, I have the right to pass me first because it is about my life and my happiness. So, I happen to go my way and manage this little bubble of guilt that could appear because our bottles were concentrated !
To live well in his thirties is for me to be in phase with our aspirations and desires. To live well in your thirties also means for me to live more consciously:
- values what we have and less respond to the capitalist consumer society that makes us believe that to be happy we need to go through the purchase of this or that item.
- to take more time for oneself : what is it that does us feel good ? For example, going to the pool is a moment that relaxes me and allows me to disconnect with the outside and take a time to think so I try to preserve this moment as much as possible, go dancing salsa, walk on the banks of the Seine, spend time to pamper me … In short, eat moments of pleasure.
- assume our choices and preferences : I find that when we accept our choices (even when it comes to choosing between two dishes in restaurant), we are more in peace. Making a choice is different from the sacrifice or the “default choice”, it is a choice made in conscience and through which we will live an experience – big or small, whatever. I like to dress in a certain way and I do not fail to wrap myself in my favorite colors (blue and pink) and I will not apologize, in short, this philosophy is infinitely variable !
- to chill with perfection : if there is one thing I can not let go of, it’s my perfectionism (tyrannical hahaha !). We know that perfection does not exist despite the world of images in which we are caught. Wanting to do our best, wanting to do perfect is another ! It is for this reason that I take the chance to share the photos taken on the place Sathonay that Coralie of the blog Elles en parlent advised me. My look is quite simple – well, this is a walk outfit and I just ate a burger and a cookie ! Usually, I do my shoots away from meals to avoid the syndrome of “food baby” in the photos. Today, I want to show you that the “good” is just as good as the perfect one. I love the clichés that my friend Boaimes has taken…So, take it easy ?
My vision of happiness is mine and there is no comparison or jealousy. On the contrary, I am happy with the success of others and I also wish to succeed on projects that are close to my heart. I think the best way to live our thirties is to be surrounded by caring people who lead us to explore the beauty of the world and relationships. Generally, affection and love are also part of the equation. And as I often say, there is no big or small happiness, there is only one tasty happiness ! For me, this happiness is revealed when we keep an ability to marvel.
So, to live well the thirties – and all the ages we go through, let our inner child slip us sweet words to the ear and enjoy every moment in which we can smile, feed, grow and grow !
How to happily live our thirties : a casual autumn look
As I said, I share this rather improvised shoot in Lyon. This is an “easy” outfit : jeans and sweater. I often specify it in my looks but I like comfortable pieces, well cut and have this little detail that brings a touch of sophistication to all.
I wear high-waisted jeans from Charlotte’ (to discover also here) that I combined with a pink sweater from 1.2.3. I love this sweater for its material, its shape and especially the metallic effect with its silver lurex thread. To remember this silver touch, I’m wearing my sequined ankle boots. A caban and a scarf, the tour is played to walk the streets of Lyon.
Accessories level, I have a black handbag with rivets that give a rock touch. Finally, I wore my Eleven Paris x OPAL sunglasses with polarized lenses that are in the same colors as this beautiful autumn that honors us with these flamboyant colors. For jewelry, I wear a mix of pink, silver and pearls that bring a cohesion to the whole look
Jean – CHARLOTT’ / Sweater – 1.2.3 / Coat – BURTON / Scarf – H&M / Boots – ANDRÉ / Bag – MICHAEL KORS / Sunglasses – OPAL / Necklace – OGGI / Earrings – OGGI / Bracelet – HERMÈS / 7 pearls ring – OGGI / Rings – SIX